Black Sunshine

From the FOXNews wire....

"CHIANG MAI, Thailand — Chuang Chuang the panda has been spending his days in front of a big screen television watching panda porn.

Authorities at the Chiang Mai Zoo in northern Thailand hope the images will encourage him to mate with his partner, Lin Hui, and serve as an instructional lesson in how to do it right."

We humans are an interesting bunch aren't we! I mean...it ONLY makes sense right!?!?!?


chilin like an un-employed

I started work back up again on Monday of last week. It didn't last long. If you remember from a previous post I wrote about my injured back and the story with that. Well, I missed two weeks of work...unpaid. Got back to work and than on my fourth day of work was sent home by my manager's because of aggravated pain in my back. It became obvious that my suitability for working as a drywall deliveryman was no longer going to be "suited" for me. I can't afford loosing anymore time for a back that needs time to heal.....time away from doing certain activities that can only aggravate these almost 30 year old muscles that may want to form a coup against me.
So.....I am in the job market once again. Got some leads. Pretty excited. We'll see. I'll keep you posted.

In the meantime I love free-time. I am cleaning my basement out........wooooooooooohhh!!!
Chilin with my family. Trying to romance my wife more.....I should've never stopped. This is a hard lessoned learned. But I love her more now than ever before. And I want her more too.......I am digressing.

Today we hung out in our awesome eastside backyard. So we took a familly photo.

Lotsa Love from East Indy!



slow maturation.

About life is relationships. People. Together. Communion. One large social fabric of integrated lives. We were never made to be unto ourselves. We were made to be inter-connected to one another.
Unfortunately a natural bent of ours is all about "me". This bentness is a serious distortion of what life is to be like or should be like. The relational aspect of what it means to be a human is undermined by our inordinate self-Interests. Because of this marriage can be or is for many hard. It is difficult. It is humiliating. But marriage is also very, very beautiful and one of the most profoundest of all relationships. The paradoxical thing is, is that marriage is very, very beautiful and perhaps the most profoundest of all relationships because of the very difficulty, hardness and humilating aspects brought forth. It is actually a very, very beautiful relationship because of the self-idolatrous bent.

Danae and I have been married for over 5 years now. In these five years we have shared much of each other and have gone through alot of things that have tested our relationship. We are still going through these tests. The test of our resolve to love one another through all things is the most challenging, difficult and agonizing of trials. For me right now this is a time where my perception or understanding of love is being challenged to take on a whole new scheme of apprehension. This scheme of apprehension is a deep below the surface apprehension. Beyond the mere conceptual, beyond the theory, beyond the abstract cognitive "knowing" of love. There is a violent demand and challenge toward a holistic embrace of a love that is alien to our intuition. A love that suffers all things and bears all things. A love that does not return evil for evil. A love that despite all the hurt, pain and horror that would be inflicted upon one, chooses instead to forgive and to absorb the pain of being wronged however great.

I have been seeing glimpses of this kind of love. This love is a most extra-ordinarily awesome power. A love that gives and gives with the risk that love would never be reciprocated. This is the power that is said to "kill with kindness." I see that there really is no other way to make it out of all that is evil and wicked and painful in this world. Not vengeance but other-serving love in forgiveness and in dying for the other. It is the most profoundest of deaths to endure. The most painful.

The maturation of love comes through the knowledge of one's brokeness and the knowledge of the love of God in the face of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. A love that has served to the point of death. Death at the hands of those whom He loves.

Again...this knowledge is beyond mere cognitive apprehension of the concept of love but rather a knowledge that is that and more. Going through the entire being. The being...challenged to be entirely suffused with this love. Breaking the cycle of violence and Dis-Integration.....to heal, integrate and restore all things in a reciprocative community of wholeness and harmony.

A slow work indeed....very slow. But it is the work of which those who labor in it will have fruit that lasts forever.

My self-idolatrous bent is being challenged now more than ever. My sins have led me here to this place. The distorting bent of all things; which destroys all things....is being used in the hand of love Himself to serve me the gift of what a human being is to be...is going to be....in the face of Jesus the Christ.
All relationships....marriage included...is not about "us" or "family" in any general fashion. It is about the life of the world. It is about the perpetuation of the only power that will influence the world to become what it is not.

God "gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were." Romans 4:17b

It is the kindness of God that leads us here to this place of becoming. Romans 2:4